Why women need to stop blowing their own trumpet
I get it... women have been left to the way-side in corporate and in life for many years, and now they are in a time where they can shine and take center stage with all the fanfare attached.
However, are we really that desperate to blow our own trumpets? Do we really think we are better than men? Do we really need to be all over the media saying how wonderful we are or at least think we are - just because we are women?
I am a woman and feel incredibly fortunate that I was born this way. In fact, rather than shed a tear for the glass ceiling, I am swinging from the rooftops thanking everyone who cares to listen for the fact that I am a woman and have been given many more advantages as such than my male counterparts.
However, are we really that desperate to blow our own trumpets? Do we really think we are better than men? Do we really need to be all over the media saying how wonderful we are or at least think we are - just because we are women?
I am a woman and feel incredibly fortunate that I was born this way. In fact, rather than shed a tear for the glass ceiling, I am swinging from the rooftops thanking everyone who cares to listen for the fact that I am a woman and have been given many more advantages as such than my male counterparts.
Far from others in the sisterhood, I am appalled and somewhat embarrassed by women who "tell me and others how good they are" or complain about the glass ceiling, yet benefit immensely from fluttering their eye-lids, or simply by having a different "reproductive organ" to males that they are so desperate to beat.
There has never been a moment that I can say that I didn't achieve something because I am a woman, but I can tell you, there are many times that I did because I was.
There are many businesses today for the mentoring of women in large corporations. I ask - are we all that sexist that we think it is only women that need mentoring? Why should corporations invest in women being mentored and not men who potentially need it most?
The other thing that gets my "goat" is the fact that women want equal representation on boards as men. 50 / 50 at the bare minimum! Well, really? Shouldn't the best person for the job be representative on any board rather than a woman because of her gender? I have seen time and time again ill deserving women be placed on boards as a token. Who is at fault here? Is it men or is it women? Are these women proud that they may not have deserved to be there over a male counterpart? We all have something to bring to the table, but let's get to the table based on credentials.
I work hard, very hard. I never focus on "not being able to do something because of gender or ethnical background" and instead focus wholeheartedly on doing a great job and delivering on what I promise.
I never want to be employed because I am a woman, as I believe that in my business that it doesn't matter what gender you are - but it does matter whether or not you can do the job well and produce the work that a client is looking for.
I know in Atlanta Women Owned Businesses get a leg up compared to male owned businesses - and it is not something that makes me proud. I am sorry, it's the truth. If you produce outstanding work, you will always be rewarded. There are many women around the world that have conquered the so-called glass ceiling and stand on top some of the biggest companies in the world - deservingly.
Top women that stand out without shedding a tear:
All of which brings me to another point of contention - women do not have to be MEN to be successful. That means that you don't have to be a hard ass, or wear pants to climb the corporate ladder or to be a successful entrepreneur. Use what you have and be proud that you are a woman and can identify with a majority of the market. Never try and be someone you are not and be proud of yourself even if you shed a tear when your male counterparts would not. There is no shame in being a woman but there is shame in getting a position that you do not deserve.
There has never been a moment that I can say that I didn't achieve something because I am a woman, but I can tell you, there are many times that I did because I was.
There are many businesses today for the mentoring of women in large corporations. I ask - are we all that sexist that we think it is only women that need mentoring? Why should corporations invest in women being mentored and not men who potentially need it most?
The other thing that gets my "goat" is the fact that women want equal representation on boards as men. 50 / 50 at the bare minimum! Well, really? Shouldn't the best person for the job be representative on any board rather than a woman because of her gender? I have seen time and time again ill deserving women be placed on boards as a token. Who is at fault here? Is it men or is it women? Are these women proud that they may not have deserved to be there over a male counterpart? We all have something to bring to the table, but let's get to the table based on credentials.
I work hard, very hard. I never focus on "not being able to do something because of gender or ethnical background" and instead focus wholeheartedly on doing a great job and delivering on what I promise.
I never want to be employed because I am a woman, as I believe that in my business that it doesn't matter what gender you are - but it does matter whether or not you can do the job well and produce the work that a client is looking for.
I know in Atlanta Women Owned Businesses get a leg up compared to male owned businesses - and it is not something that makes me proud. I am sorry, it's the truth. If you produce outstanding work, you will always be rewarded. There are many women around the world that have conquered the so-called glass ceiling and stand on top some of the biggest companies in the world - deservingly.
Top women that stand out without shedding a tear:
- German Chancellor Angela Merkel
- Tory Burch
- Sara Blakely - Spanx
- Oprah Winfrey
- Hillary Clinton
- Sheryl Sandberg
- Rosalia Mera - Zara
- Arianna Huffington - Huffington Post
- Zhang Xin - Real Estate Tycoon
- Meg Whitman - HP
- Virginia Rometty - IBM
- Indra K. Nooyi - PepsiCo Inc
- Marissa Mayer - Yahoo
- Debra Reed - Sempra Energy
- Deanna Mulligan - Guardian
- Ursula M Burns, - Xerox Corporation
- Marillyn Hewson - Lockheed Martin
- Mary Barra - GM
All of which brings me to another point of contention - women do not have to be MEN to be successful. That means that you don't have to be a hard ass, or wear pants to climb the corporate ladder or to be a successful entrepreneur. Use what you have and be proud that you are a woman and can identify with a majority of the market. Never try and be someone you are not and be proud of yourself even if you shed a tear when your male counterparts would not. There is no shame in being a woman but there is shame in getting a position that you do not deserve.
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comments ( 3 )
Rex Buckingham
17 Jan 2014Good article for positive women but maybe not so helpful for those who have been worn down? There have been many horrific situations perpetrated against women (in the workplace and n the home - since birth and sometimes when the individual has made their first try at 'being discovered with voice') and yes some of this has been from self fulfilling behaviour of women BUT, this is also about the 'chicken and the egg'.
ReplyAll of this is a bit 'egg shelly', should women act like this or like or this or.....
From my perspective is it as much about men acting with more Emotional Intelligence and through that making not only women but people generally who do not yet have firm self esteem, feel comfortable about contributing / connecting.
Once the environment is welcoming to input, once the leader stops managing and stats leading, all sorts of people pop-up and all sorts of exciting new potentials become apparent.
Certainly anyone coming in mimicking past male behaviours is likely to get a lesser reception - and rightly so - no one needs bullying non-connected females, maybe even less that bullying non-connected males,
!
Vern
17 Jan 2014Thank You!
ReplyAlan Glasby
15 Jan 2014I agree totally with what you have to say Mellissah, but being married to an Alpha female who doesn't make excuses for herself, I see she does come across sexist, pigheaded males who are acting in positions far exceeding their ability. I also find women who blow their own trumpet, ( not those who use their femaleness as a weapon or an out) are better at doing it than their male counterparts - and less arrogant when they do. Cheers, Alan
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