How women can make their men more successful
Coming from a European family, where the men rule the roost and women play the pivotal role of supporting their man, I am an advocate of women doing what it takes to support their families and in particular, the men in their lives.
When I grew up, my father was the provider. He took the rubbish out and mowed the lawn. He fixed anything that needed to be fixed.
My mother was the housewife. She baked cakes, washed the dishes, cleaned the house and did the shopping.
Their marriage was successful until we had grown up and left school and my mother decided to have a career and stopped doing the housework, cooking for my father and being their to support him. Now, I am not saying this is the only reason they stopped being married, but it certainly played a part and even my lovely mothers agrees.
Which has me thinking... are women stopping their men from being successful because they are too 'new age?'A recent Marketing Eye blog about 10 Ways A Man Can Be More Successful In Business was so popular our website crashed. Just kidding! It did receive triple the amount of visitors as a normal blog on the same site. Men actually rang my office to tell me how right I was about tip number one and ten. These tips cover how men should appreciate the woman they are with. It was an eye-opener for many men that simply just forget to show their appreciation.
Women on the other hand, are now out working for a living and tend to spend less and less time doing the traditional things that women have done so in the past in the family home.
As a woman, I want my man to be successful. Who doesn't? Seriously, we all want the men in our lives to 'bring home the bacon', to provide for us, to be our protectors and to be there when we need them. But what role are women playing in this these days?
If you are a working woman, its hard to fit everything in. Building a career, keeping up with friends and staying fit usually ensures that there is no time left to cook a hearty meal, ask your partner how their day was, iron their clothes, make the bed or doing things for them that would make their lives easier.
But I am of the opinion that if one of world's most successful women, Imelda Roche, could still iron her husbands shirts and cook dinner for the family at the height of her successful, why are women around the world finding excuses to not do these things? Needless to say, she is still happily married and is one of the biggest success stories.
Are women today cutting off their noses despite their faces?
Here are some sure ways to make your husband, lover, partner or prospect more successful:
1. Shut Up! Now that's a confronting thing to say, but it is true. Stop nagging. Don't winge about your day. If they haven't picked up the towel off the floor - how hard is it to pick it up yourself. If the man in your life is being unreasonable, and making a deal about someone that is plain ridiculous - shut up! Wait a few hours and see if you still feel the same way. If you do, think about how you are going to communicate it with him that will end in a positive result for both you and him.
2. Wear lipstick: A good friend of mine Marise, always wears lipstick at the dinner table even if its only her and her husband having dinner. Dressing up for your man shows him that you care about how you look and want him to still find you sexy, desirable and the way you were when you first met. Also, work out, keep your body in shape and don't let yourself go. This is not only for your man - but it is also for yourself.
3. Understand where he is coming from: Men are brought up to be men. That means, depending on who their teacher was, they have a whole mindset around what that actually means. Why not ask your man what it means to him and work out how you can better accomodate his needs so that your relationship benefits from a firmer understanding of what a man is in your household.
4. Let him watch the football: Its a couple of hours out of a weekend and it gives you time to do the things that you need to do. It's inevitable that every person wants time out. Women read gossip magazines or chat to their friends. Men watch football. Simple.
5. Keep the house tidy: When a man is busy, the worse thing in the world is to come home to an untidy dwelling. Clutter means confusion and places pressure on their brains. They cannot deal with it. Sure, they may have been messy before you met them, but they have learned that part of the value of having you in their lives is that you provide a home for them, not a bachelor pad.
6. Learn to understand what stress does to people: Being a man and being successful often comes with a lot of stress. Men put pressure on themselves to provide money for the family, social standing and leadership. When something goes wrong with a deal, in the office, or through no fault of their own like a car breaking down - it can be stressful. With stress, people yell, are unreasonable, say things they don't mean, don't think clearly and let any little thing set them off. If you understand stress and what it does to people, it will help you better understand your man. You will be able to provide them with the support they need to minimise the stress that they are under.
7. Don't shop until you drop: No man wants a woman that is a compulsive shopper. Improve yourself and your own self-worth by buying things that you need and when you want to spoil yourself, do it only on special occasions. Women that shop compulsively are often incredibly unhappy people with their lives and men pick up on this.
8. Listen to what he has to say: Ok, if you are not in business, your eyes may glaze over as your man tells you about his day and what deals he has been working on. But sometimes your man needs to do this to provide himself with a better understanding of what he is doing and by saying it out loud, it allows them pick up on things they may have missed during the day. Also, quite often, you are the only person in the world that he can say "I am on the brink of signing a million dollar deal - we are going to be rich" or that an employee is pissing him off. It's amazing how valuable pillow talk really is. Additionally, if you have half a brain, you may have a perspective on what has happened during your man's day that provides 'food for thought'. He may not take up your perspective but at least it gives him one that may not be the same as his own.
9. Read: Read things that relate to your man, his business and his interests, so that when he comes home, you have something to talk about. When you attend business dinners with your man, you are able to engage with others at the table in a meaningful way. Your man will be proud and you will add value to him becoming more successful.
10. Give him lots of sex as and when he needs it: There was obviously something in the early days that had you wanting to have sex with him, so don't stop because you are comfortable or because you are married. You don't want him running away with his secretary or PR chick as so many successful men seem to do. Be sexy, and find the inner desire to want to please your man on all levels. I am sure you will be surprised at how happy it will make you too.
Some women will read this blog and be totally offended by its content. But don't be dismayed as tomorrow there will be another blog on how men can make their career women more successful. It works both ways.