Scary, exciting, adventurous, alive
The road as an entrepreneur is hard enough, without having to be a woman on top of that, nearing the ripe age of 40 years. I am without doubt in the most uncomfortable position I have ever been in in my entire life - and you know what - it's exciting.
Well, for two minutes it is and then it dawns on me that I am about to jump in feet first into a new country, a new life and some very scary territory. I cannot begin to tell you how many feelings are running through my head - all at once and in no particular order.
It's a catalyst for what is to come. There will no doubt be no two days the exact same. I will meet people who will like me for my silly accent or the fact that at times I can be a bit quirky and others who may not (but who cares - right!).
Mostly, I will have an adventure. I've already found a place to live, but haven't found a favorite coffee shop, or a place to get my hair done. I am looking forward to being a tourist and seeing all the things out there to explore and to meeting new people who will only enrich my life in one way or another.
I have made some remarkable friends from all walks of life and I can't wait to explore those friendships and build some history with people that I would never have met if I had never commenced this journey.
Then there is a part of me that is scared. Terrified. Butterflies going berserk in my stomach every other minute. Sometimes I need to sit and calm myself down just to get through the day. I don't know about you, but moving from the Gold Coast, to Sydney to Melbourne wasn't so difficult. It's just an hour flight in between and mostly, my friends and family have come with me on that journey. What has been important to me is that there has been family in every port, something that is irreplaceable and warming to the heart - particularly when you make decisions to do things out of the ordinary.
I am scared of everything; failure, success, loneliness, isolation, distance, cultural differences, adventure, jumping off the cliff - you name it - I am scared by it.
What if it doesn't succeed? What if I am not happy? What if I can't tie my own shoe laces? What if something happens out of my control? All the "what if's" are scary. Really scary.
But one thing I know for sure is that this is a journey that I must take and I need to make the most of it. Some people have mid-life crisis' where they buy a sports car, change their look, get a divorce. I am just moving country. Is this my mid-life crisis?
I will miss many things. The ability to ring my family and friends up and talk for hours - althought skype is helpful for this. My favorite coffee shop and bar and the comfort I feel every single time I fly into Tullamarine Airport in Melbourne. I will miss my apartment and its comforts, the park in the background, the office being next door and lifelong friends that can pop over at anytime for a glass of wine or just to chat about nothing.
There have been many people who have been here before me and I will certainly not be the last. I will need a shoulder to cry on from time to time and will be looking for people to laugh with.
I will work hard to tick off that extra item on my bucket list and to challenge myself at something else that I may not have done so ever before.
And somewhere along that road, I will no doubt find solance in the fact that I gave it a go. Thank you Atlanta for being my home away from home.